Setting Boundaries – South Edmonton

Being able to set healthy boundaries with people and things you interact with is an important and part of self-care.

In essence, self-care is deliberately taking care of our wellbeing through restorative activities and a practice people use to create healthy relationships with themselves and others. You can find lots more information about self-care on our Self-Care and Self-Compassion page.

Setting Boundaries – Edmonton
Registered Psychologists
South Edmonton Therapy for Setting Boundaries
780-628-5446
2307 – 90B Street SW Edmonton
click for Directions
*just off of Ellerslie Road on 91 St. – Located in Summerside
Book an Appointment Online

What are boundaries?

Boundaries is the basic foundation of how you want to be treated. By creating boundaries, you’re making sure that your relationships are mutually respectful, appropriate and caring.

Often, people don’t give their boundary needs much thought until they’ve been crossed – for example, that uncomfortable feeling when someone’s standing too close or is asking you questions that are too personal.

Why is setting boundaries important?

Sometimes, there are things you know right off the mark you don’t like and are okay with letting go completely. For example, if you have a fear of heights, it’s probably quite easy for you to say no to activities that involve you standing on an edge of some sort.

Most of the time, however, it’s not so black and white. For example, you might find yourself only being able to handle a friend in small amounts. You love them dearly, so you’re not willing to lose their friendship. Or, you may find yourself in a cycle at work where you’re performing well, being given more tasks because of your performance and ending up overworked. Is walking away from your job the answer?

That’s where learning about your boundaries becomes important. In your therapy sessions, you’ll learn what you’re willing to handle and how much of it you’re willing to handle. You’ll also learn ways to set those boundaries in a healthy and positive way.

Setting healthy boundaries will help you make decisions based on what’s important for you and not everyone around you. Having this autonomy is an important part of self-care.

Why should I see a therapist for a boundary setting? Can’t I do it myself?

Just like self-care, setting boundaries is a simple concept in theory, but something people often struggle with. Having our boundaries crossed and needing to be okay with it is something that’s been ingrained in our society. When our boundaries get crossed, people often misinterpret that as feeling “generous.” We’re made to believe that our generosity directly impacts how good or bad of a person we are.

There are so many other ways to connect to your values than pushing your boundaries. Once you know what your boundaries are, you’ll notice that you’re able to connect to your values more often.

There isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to boundaries: everyone has different thresholds. Our therapists will work with you to uncover what works best for you. Be prepared to learn a lot about yourself, in a good way!

What types of things will I learn in these therapy sessions?

Our main focus at Boost Psychology is to promote wellbeing and mental health in a comfortable environment. What is focused on is determined by your personal needs and situation, but the most common things we guide people though is a general focus on self-care. With that comes setting boundaries and learning self-compassion.

In addition to boundary setting, self-care and self-compassion, Boost Psychology provides treatments for a variety of issues, including stress and burnout, anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, grief, and life transitions.

Our therapists have training in various evidence-based modalities. Your psychologist will work with you to create an individualized treatment plan based on your needs. We believe it is key to listen to you to get a thorough understanding of what is going on in your life. This is an important step before working toward the resolution of the problem.

Give our office a call today to discuss your options and work toward creating a healthier you.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I set boundaries in my relationship?

Before you communicate or set boundaries, identify what your non-negotiables will be. What are your bottom lines and non-starters when it comes to psychological, emotional, and physical boundaries?

What are the three types of personal boundaries?

Boundaries can generally be categorized as physical, emotional, and psychological.

Physical Boundaries include anything to do with your physical body or objects. Ie. can someone hug you or not

Emotional Boundaries refer to the impact others have on your emotions. Ie. Do they make you feel happy? Sad? Or have no influence?

Psychological Boundaries are referencing how much you share about how you think, your opinions, and who you are.

How do you respectfully set boundaries?

First, it is important to be aware of the situation and context. Boundaries can be firm or flexible, depending on the situation. Flexibility with boundaries is often reserved for those who are willing to negotiate their boundaries as well and for those you trust. It can be helpful to share with someone your needs, rationale, and state explicitly your boundary.

What is an example of setting boundaries?

Fred enjoys making decisions and sharing his input, only after he has been given the opportunity to reflect, engage in research, and weigh the pros and cons. Often, in meetings Fred’s boss, Al, calls on Fred to immediately share his input and opinion. Fred will often feel ‘put on the spot’, anxious, and begin to lose focus in these moments. During his monthly supervision meeting, Fred shared with Al that it is important to him to have time to reflect, prior to sharing his opinion, because he often worries that his answer will be wrong. Fred shared his psychological boundary with Al by stating that he would like to discuss a way for Fred’s input to be still shared at meetings but, after he has time to reflect.

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Author: Kirsten Klemm